Of Relationships & Marriage

Of Relationships & Marriage

I’m writing this on a rainy Wednesday afternoon, and I’m doing so just because.
Not for the views, not for the plugs, not for the exposure.
I just want to write like I did before, like how it’s really supposed to be.

Yesterday was Jec and I’s first anniversary as a couple – we celebrated our 1 year of being friends a month ago.

It was nothing special. He didn’t visit me, didn’t bring me flowers, didn’t bring me food, didn’t surprise me in any way at all. Sure he greeted me and sang me a song, but that was about it.

As I said, it was nothing special.

I also didn’t make a big deal out of it.
I didn’t nag him for not posting our pictures all over Facebook, for not bringing me a bouquet and a box of chocolates, for not gifting me with a piece of jewelry or a stuffed toy. 

Suffice to say, it was a very ordinary day for us. And I didn’t regret it being so. 

Before he went to sleep, he said something like,
“Let’s not stop at just one year, okay? (I want this relationship to be longer-) That’s why I don’t count.”

And I completely understood.

I’m actually a person of celebration.
Got hired? Let’s eat out.
Been getting good feedback from work lately? Let me take you out on a date.
Accomplished a nice goal? I’ll buy you a small treat. 

But this time it was different. 

There was no pressure to celebrate. 

There was no need to go out and do the typical date just to prove we’re celebrating our relationship.

Anyway, we celebrate our relationship in the best ways that we could. We treat each other when we can or just want to. We watch movies together. We cheer each other and support when one of us is working on something or whatever. 

He cooks for me. I make coffee for him. 
Our relationship is quite simple. And I have no regrets. 
I have no more wants; no more needs.

I need more this, I want more that. 

I take him in as he is, as he does me. 

Celebrations are nice but they’re not required. If anything, do it as a couple and not to prove that your love is real. 
Because if it’s really real, it will shine through you – there’s no need to flaunt it, display it, spell it out loud. 

It was unusual that I wasn’t longing for any anniversary celebration whatsoever. Sure, I had ideas in my head, but no concrete plans. I was okay with anything. I was even okay with nothing. And so I got nothing, and I was fine with it. 

It was like, at the back of my head, I knew this wasn’t just it – that there was more to come. 

I don’t know what it is, I don’t know when things are going to happen, but I’m willing to take a risk. 
I know you might say, “But you already took a risk when you entered your relationship?” 
No, not exactly. I believe love itself is always a risk. You don’t know what’s in it for you until you get there. 
And when you do, there’s always something more ahead. You don’t just stop at, “Well, this is it!”

It’s all a risk. Your love may be pure and sure, but the relationship is always a risk. 
That’s why two people in love work (hard) to keep the relationship strong, right?


More and more of my batchmates are either getting engaged, married or pregnant. And I’m not even fazed. 
No, I don’t feel any pressure at all. 

It was kinda nice seeing all their prenuptial shots with all the cheesy grins and the sparkly dresses.

But I’m more invested in marriages than weddings.

Years ago, I didn’t know if I even wanted to get married.
I never saw myself walking down the aisle towards the person I’d be spending the rest of my life with.
I never saw myself wearing a fluffy gown with tens or hundreds of eyes looking at me all at the same time.
I never saw myself getting all that attention.

There were visions, wishful thinkings, dreams – but not exactly truths. 

They were just in my head, but the Universe never made it happen for me. At least, it cut all those relationships short. 
And now here I am, in this relationship, blogging about something that has always been muddy to me – marriages. 

To sum it all up, I’d rather be married than merely be wedded. 

But here’s the point –
From all those engagements I see on social media,
I realized one important thing about myself: 


 

Bae Milanes

Bae is a 20-something passion blogger from Manila. She likes hoarding hobbies and trying out new stuff, blogging about her mundane adventures, and tweeting about random realizations and musings.

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