On serendipity, I started my #selflove journey on the first day of the year. I was curious so I picked up this book and things started to flow from there.
For the longest time, I had struggles with my body. But the biggest challenge so far was in 2017 when I lost control over my eating. I became complacent. Albeit his constant reminder to be mindful of what I eat, I knew my boyfriend accepted me as a whole, flabs and all.
But I knew it was no longer self-love when I ate ice cream whenever I wanted, when I skipped my workouts because ‘I had no time’ or ‘I wasn’t in the mood.’ It was sheer lack of discipline. Most of all, I made an enemy of my own body. I sabotaged it by being bitter.
Who wouldn’t be? From 175 lbs in 2014 to 140 in 2016, I ballooned to 180 lbs last year. To think there was a time I had nothing to wear because everything was LOOSE on me.
I felt like I betrayed myself. But something consistently told me, “You did it before with zero knowledge. Look how far you can go with all the resources, support, and experience you have NOW. Don’t give up on yourself.”
As stubborn as I was, I felt this urge to workout as I was working. It was a simple thought like, “Hmm, I’m thirsty.” But this time, it was, “Hmm, I wanna workout.” Just like that. So I listened to my body. I closed my laptop, changed into my workout clothes, and got a #kettlebell workout off of YouTube (Fitness Blender.
I thought, “What’s with all this self-love thing if I won’t even honor what MY body needs?”
I finished 2/3 rounds (20 minutes). But I’m NOT gonna punish myself because “I didn’t finish everything.” I’m gonna consider this an accomplishment. I won’t rush. I will focus on consistency > goals.
I will workout NOT because I hate my body and wanna punish it. I will workout because I LOVE MY BODY and I want to NURTURE it.